We're facing an issue that's new for us, a local "officer down" story. It's so tragic. A pursuit ensued after a hit & run. An officer was working to get motorists safely out of the way, knowing the speeding driver was heading their way. Sure enough, the man being pursued did continue in that direction and decided to "go out with a bang and kill an _____ cop." He plowed into the back of the patrol car, reportedly driving about 100 mph, killing a young officer. Sgt. Randy White was only 32 and left a wife and five year old child behind.

The driver, of course, lived, suffering a broken leg.

Usually, I wouldn't purposefully expose my children to this sad event, but this time I had to. It's been hard to allow them to hear about it, to see the pictures of the wreck, but as Shane works through his grief for this local officer (he's shared a pot of coffee with him, but is mostly grieving for his child), the girls have to know about it.

This brings up a good issue for law enforcement families: having kids exposed to the hard stuff.

My girls couldn't understand why anyone would do what that driver did yesterday. I don't either, for that matter.

The death sentence came up, as well as what the Bible says about punishment for purposefully taking a life.

Human execution verses inhumane execution styles were discussed at our table today.

Does the Lord forgive sins like this? If he trusts Jesus for his salvation, will they let him go free? Consequences. All of these were touched on as we worked through the news today.

Finally, before we started our school work, we prayed for Sgt. White's family and for the salvation of the driver.

How do you work through these things with your children? How do you help your husband grieve? Shane had to guard the car yesterday, as it had been towed to the SO. He saw the blood stains in the wreckage. How do you enjoy a weekend with that imprinted on your husband's mind? He holds our own five year old closer today, and I know he's aching for a five year old half an hour away. What do you do with that as a wife?

I'd love your thoughts...

Ripple Effects

When 9/11 occured, I didn't really think it would affect us directly, but since Shane worked at Boeing Space & Defense, it eventually trickled down to our little family. He was laid off in 2005.

I may be naive, but right now, I don't see a repeat of this while Shane is at the jail. As a matter of fact, crime rates may very well go up leaving officers of all sorts busier than ever. I've tried to play through this in my mind...
Addicts may not have funds to buy their drugs, prompting them to steal for them.
Tough times bring out the worst in people, so domestic offenses may go up.
The run-of-the-mill hot check writers and driving with no insurance offenders will surely rise.
Maybe the illegals won't want to come here, so ICE related offenses may go down-here's hoping!

Yet on the flip side, if people don't (can't?) pay their taxes, which city/county/state funds get cut first? Hopefully law enforcement personnel won't get touched, but who knows?

Shane had considered other job possibilities but with the economy heading south, we're glad he's where he is. We've been doing a lot of thinking about how to brace ourselves for the future, here's where we are:

*Paying off debt-we are giving up the land we wanted to build on, to raise our family on and pass down to our children. It's worth it to not have consumer debt.
*Buying a house within our means.
*Considering some day trading, but we're not risking much money on Wall Street.
*Thinking about ways to lower our expenses-trying to imagine what we can live without if money gets really tight (we're already thrifty). We're thinking paper goods are the first to go.
*Helping our kids get ready as well-they earn some income but they have to realize their income (from babysitting) may go away if their "client's" job goes away.

I hope the economy doesn't factor into your future in a negative way, but if it does, remember God is not unaware, he knew about it before we did. He still clothes the lilies of the field and not one sparrow falls without him knowing. You are more important than sparrows, lean on Him my friends!

Vacation Days

Shane surprised me by taking off some days this last week. Tonight he has to go back and it all seems to have flown by...

We celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. I was totally bummed out because (I thought) we both had to work. I woke up feeling worn out, ended up all teary that morning, then went to work with the anticipation of escaping into my work. Shane had planned a little party though, and my friends helped him out by making great desserts for the occasion. He had beautiful flowers delivered and then showed up himself for a little while. He did great! I felt like a queen!

We spent the rest of the week parenting together--that's almost as nice as the anniversay surprise, isn't it? When I found out he wasn't going to work Tuesday afternoon and that Tuesday night was his last night to work at the SO for several days, I almost crumbled to the ground in relief. I had been dreading that week for days, just knowing I had to handle all the evening parenting, ball games, meals and more alone (the week was really full!). It was soooo nice to have him with me all week.

We topped it all off by joining some friends from our Bible Study small group at the lake after church on Sunday. We enjoyed the boating, the great lake house and swimming area so much!

Today was the first day of a great camp the girls attend each year. It's just a morning camp, but it makes a great impression on the girls. It's a camp especially for special needs kids and their families. The camp leader designates helpers for each child so the parents can get some reprieve if they need it. Non-special needs kids are welcome, too. We dropped all our kids off today and went to my OB appt. We find out next week if this is a boy or girl--we hope, anyway!

I hope you get some down time with your officer as the summer gets going. It's hard to let go of it when it's over...I'm already looking forward to Novemeber when Shane will take off work for the birth of this baby!

My husband

He gives me so much blogging material sometimes...

In the almost 3 years he's worked for the SO, he's only called me from there a very few amount of times. If he has a chance to change shifts/days off, he might call me, and the few times he's had to go to the hospital I'll get a call.

He came in today and told me he was crazy last night and almost called me several times. First-a little background-he has been given the job of Officer in Charge two nights a week. That means he has to act like a Sgt (go in early, stay late, and run the shift-but with no extra pay). They're also short handed and way full with a neighboring county's inmates adding to the bulge. So, he's having lots of those nights when he just goes and goes without having a chance to sit down.

So, with that atmosphere, he goes in last night and gets the run down from the previous shift. Lo and behold, Shane knows the guy in the holding tank. It's only happened a few times that he's known who he's booking in. There's been a distant cousin he grew up around and a guy or two who we've gone to church with. Last night he was just about to blow his top-it's so hard to book in a friend. It embarrasses both of you.

So, this morning we're doing our own shift talk-you know when I give him the latest family news and he fills me in on how work or whatever is going. The girls are especially needy for Daddy on Fridays since they've gone a few days without really seeing him. After we get them settled elsewhere, he's trying to talk to me but keeps falling asleep and mixing his sentences with nonsense as he fights drifting off. He told me two of the other county's inmates left this morning and took all their stuff with them. He stressed that last part, and I said, "Wow, I bet the property room is empty now!" He woke up a bit and just laughed...

I wanted to take a picture of him trying to read this morning. After the above happened, I turned off the light and started to leave. He said, "I need that on, so I can read." We both knew how that would go, but he tried anyway. I took a shower and went back in the bedroom to get dressed. There he was, book on chest, snoring. Poor guy. He's been trying to read that book for a week and is probably only on chapter 2!

I do love having him home during the day, it's nice...although I thought this morning that most people probably get in their recliners at the end of the day and talk. I have to crawl in bed with my husband to visit. Ahh, the joys of the night shift :)

Gun Control

You know, there are just things a wife of an LEO (or just a concealed carry guy) has to consider in life that others don't...

Is this purse big enough for his gun (not that I want it in my purse mind you, but you know how it is...)?

When he got out of the car, did he take his gun (or am I going to jail if I get pulled over)?

The kids have friends coming over, get the gun out of the living room!

Yes, dear, I'll check to see if Oklahoma is a recipcrocating state before we leave (we all know what that means and how to check it). Just an aside-what happened to the packing.org site-it had the most well organized info on the web and it's gone!

We also know what it means when he says, "How do I look in the back?" and he's not asking if those pants make his butt look fat.

Hey Ladies...

Have you wondered where I've been? Well, this blog is just a challenge for me, in a way. I don't want to just write random stuff here. If I don't have something good to say, I tend to not say anything at all. I don't want to waste your time, after all. But I do think about this blog a lot. Too bad there's no counter for all the thoughts...

If you don't read my other blog, you might not know I'm pregnant with our fifth child. That is almost hard for me to write. I'm still getting used to the idea...I'm 1/3 of the way through and just finished my first trimester. The nausea is fading, thankfully!

I have wanted to post some thoughts about LE men and how we all know they get harder; more cynical the longer they stay in LE. I thought this was just a given. I've read about it over and over and I have even seen Shane get slightly more caloused.

However, in the last few months, I've seen a change. He's softened a bit. Now, first I need to say he's not mean or rough or anything, never has been.I've never even worried much about the changes. The changes I've seen probably couldn't even be noticed by others, it's very subtle.

A few guys have come to depend on Shane for a shoulder. He's honored and humbled when they approach him and say they need to talk. When he tells me about it later, I can see in his face and tell in his voice he's almost taken aback by the idea that anyone would confide in him and ask for his advice. And it's not just other LEOs, he was even bold enough to answer an inmate's religious questions and pray with him, knowing it could be risky for his job.

I suspect a little of it is age and maturity, but I have a feeling there's more to it than that. The Lord is working in his heart and He's put some good friends around Shane to encourage him. I think this is simply the fruit of all that.

I share this not to brag on my husband (well, maybe a little...) but to encourage you. If you have noticed those little changes as well (for the worse), then don't just assume it's an inevitable part of the job. We as wives have a duty to pray for the protection of our husbands' hearts and minds. We can also pray for the right coworkers and non LE friends to come beside our husbands for friendship. The Lord is teaching me about this as it all relates to the tough field of LE and He's reminding me of the power of my prayers for my husband.

Remember, God is bigger than any LE issue and he can turn any situation around in ways we can't even imagine. So just ask!

I love my bed

I wish I could take a picture of my bed, but Shane's asleep in it, so I'm sure he's appreciate it if I didn't take a picture.

First, to tie it into LE, it was a gully washer last night. Shane was at work, which is good and bad. If its going to storm, I'd rather he be home, but at least if he's at work, he's up watching the weather anyway and will call me if I need to do anything but sleep through it. Plus, it gives us the entire bed for all the girls to crawl into!

Early this morning, between four and six, I'm guessing, we were all quickly awoken by a loug clap of thunder that I'm sure initiated right outside my window. Sure enough, about five seconds later, here comes Hope. I don't mind, I kind of wanted them to all come in, like on Sound of Music, except I didn't sing, I snored :)

Anyway, I love my bed. After Hurricane Katrina, a friend of ours was trying to get a nursery ready and wanted to donate their king size guest room mattresses to a vicitim's family. I asked her, purely just for conversation's sake, if they'd found someone to take them. She said no and asked if we wanted them. On the inside I was screaming "Yes! Yes!" but on the outside I said, "Oh, well...I don't know, why don't you ask Shane?" Well, we eneded up with them, along with so much bedding I had to give some away.

We were able to bless a struggling little family with our old queen set, so it was great all around.

Then, last year, some friends went to the mission field and gave us their bed, the most beautiful bed ever. It has stained glass in the headboard (and the matching dresser) and sits on top of drawers. Another friend gave me the very quilt I'd been looking at online, so it's perfect! If I squint and try to forget the carpet square patchwork carpet from 1974, then I feel like a queen. I love the high thread count sheets (given to us) in the spring. Nothing is better than slipping into those sheets in that beautiful bed! Then having all my girls snuggle up during a predawn thunderstorm...that's just as good as it gets!

Having a night shift working husband can have it's benefits :)