Holiday Blues

There is a group of workers in our society that must be available 24/7, 365 days a year. We want the ER to be open and available to us at all times, for example. While a slim patrol shift can work Thanksgiving Day, the jails and prisons don't do well without a full staff. Most LE agencies have someone working the holidays.

Obviously, this is hard when it's your husband who has to work while you enjoy (endure?) a holiday alone.

I've found this to be especially hard with young children. They can understand Daddy has to be gone and we'll celebrate with him the next day or whatever, that's not been my problem. My problem is physically loading up the car with food/kids/diaper bags, heading out to someone else's home, keeping the peace between my kids and the cousins, fixing all their plates, making sure they all eat some turkey before they eat pie, cleaning them up, changing diapers, and on and on. All while answering the questions a gazillion times, "Where's Shane?" and feeling lonely without him.

Sometimes, even if you really enjoy yourself, you feel guilty about it because he's stuck giving breathalizers to mall Santas or checking out domestic disturbances or putting up with inmates who are missing their families, too.

However, there is good news!

First, I've found family usually understands and is more than willing to help--if we ask. It is H-A-R-D for me to ask for help, but I can't hardly get mad at the world because of my stubborness! Last year, right before Thanksgiving, my grandfather died and Shane was away at mandatory state training. I was very anxious about handling the funeral and all the activities with a newborn and three other children. My family and friends were all very helpful, all I had to do was state my need.

Second, I've found that other officers can be very generous. While it can't be expected, the surprise of an officer with grown kids who offers to work your Christmas morning shift so you can be home with your little ones is precious. And it happens-last year Shane was told to "Go home" Thanksgiving evening by another officer. His first year on the job, he was in the hiring process and upon getting hired, he was told to enjoy Christmas with his family, he could start right after the holiday.

A lot of the hard work of the holidays relates to our attitudes. We, as wives, set much of the mood for our homes. We can make the holiday a trial to endure for our entire family, or we can find ways to be positive about it, always honoring our husbands in the process. As LEO wives, we have an opportunity to make great new memories, show flexibility, and model a sacrificial love.

I know it's hard to keep a smile on your face especially if you're also doing the bulk of the other holiday planning. But when your husband retires, do you just want it to be lipservice when he says, "My wife has always supported me...through it all..." or do you want to truly bless him by walking in the Spirit, relying on God to give you the strength and creativity to have warm, blessed holidays, LEO style?

That's what I'll be praying for myself-and believe me, prayer is the only way I'll get there!